How It Works

I love movies, but I hate most movie reviews. I hate them for two reasons: First, they always begin with a 3-5 paragraph in-depth description of the film. I don't want to know the entire plot, I want to know if it's good! I may say generally what the movie involves but that's it. Second, most movie reviews are unclear. I've read countless reviews that left me with absolutely no indication as to whether or not I should even see the film. Not here. I developed three methods to rate television and movies:

1. Just your average 10 point scale.
10 is obviously the best and 1 is the worst. Although, Something Borrowed might make below a 1 if I ever get around to reviewing it. I consider myself quite harsh, so if you see anything above a 9, it's probably in my top ten of all time.

2. What's it Worth?
I will tell you if I think it's worth paying for and worth the 2 (and ever more increasingly 3) hours of your time. I also make an educated guess as to whether or not you can multitask during the film.

3. The (not-yet) Patented Clairometer
In honor of my college friend Claire, I developed this rating system in order to display how "appropriate" the film is. It is designed to tell you a more detailed rating system. I find this helpful. Sometimes you want to know ahead of time so you're not stuck watching Black Swan in an empty theater with your mom. The range between PG-13 and R is more vast than the plot holes in a Michael Bay movie. I hope to combat this. The scale shows photos and descriptions of a few well-known women in film and television. The rating is the farthest woman to the left of the scale who would approve of the film. For example, June Cleaver would not approve of Tequila Sunrise. The woman who would is probably Mathilda.

THE CLAIROMETER:

Clairometer

Clairometer

conclusion

With this blog, I write as though someone will read it and enjoy what I have to say. I am under no false pretense that I have a wide readership. It is mostly for me and for the one other person who accidentally stumbled across this blog. If that is you, I'm glad you are here. With this blog, I send my thoughts about what I watch on a black box into the abyss of the world wide web. I hope you enjoy reading these thoughts as much as I enjoy writing them.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Little Mister Poolboy

The Way Way Back (2013)
Starring: Liam James, Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Sam Rockwell, Allison Janney, Maya Rudolph
Written and Directed by: Nat Faxton & Jim Rash

My Rating: 6.9
Worth: theater, on demand rental, and 2 hours fully paying attention
Clairometer: Holy Golightly

Take every moment when you wanted to punch Michael Scott in the jugular, add Sam Rockwell's brilliant destitute Tony Stark impression, a punch drunk Allison Janney who makes Lindsay Fünke look like mommy dearest, throw in 120 pounds of awkward teenage boy, and just a dash of hilarious "Dean-like" Jim Rash and cook over the high summer heat. This is the recipe for The Way Way Back. What does any of that mean? The film is excellent. There is a very Little Miss Sunshine feel to it. For example, The Way Way Back redefines the concept of a loving family and what it means to be accepted in one; Steve Carell plays an unexpected character; and it sheds light on the fact that adults are just as flawed as their kids. 

 It is rare to watch a good movie that leaves you with a (very momentary, but) happy feeling. Jim Rash and Nat Faxton's third collaboration is far superior to The Descendants. However, it probably won't win an Oscar. Aliens don't invade. The top doesn't keep spinning. The oppressed Jewish girl doesn't kill the Nazis. This film is the JC Chasez to the Justin Timberlake (music, not acting obviously - did you see Alpha Dog? Funny I didn't either). He's just as good, but something is just missing. And that something in The Way Way Back is endurance. I know in 4 years I'll be trying to remember the title of this movie and why I liked it. I suppose I can check this blog to retrieve that information. Thanks Al Gore. 

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