Out Now Review: The Hateful Eight

The Hateful Eight (2015)
Written and Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Kurt Russell, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Walton Goggins, Michael Madsen, Bruce Dern, Tim Roth, Demian Bichir, and James Parks

My Rating: 7.9
Worth: Paying to see it in the theater, 3 hours of your time - but to be honest, you could multitask.
Clairometer: The Bride (of course)

It begins with an overture, during which the screen is red and the music builds. This sets the tone of blood and escalating suspense. Also the mere presence of an overture in a film evidences its departure from the norm. This blog will not discuss 70mm in any way other than this sentence.

I love true filmmakers. There's nothing better than seeing the credit "A film by...." followed by a name that you not only recognize, but appreciate many of their prior films. You know what you're getting into by watching it. That moment we all had a few years ago when we watched the Hugo trailer and saw "A film by Martin Scorsese" is the opposite of what I'm describing. Wes Anderson and Quentin Tarantino are two of my favorites who are comforting in their predictability. With Quentin, you know you're getting violence, masterful dialogue, violence, plot twists, violence, and blood.

The last two films I've seen with Samuel L. Jackson have been Django and Kingsman. No one is really a protagonist in The Hateful Eight, but it was so nice to see him not as the flaming antagonist. If it were revolutionary for Samuel L. Jackson to play a role with tenacity and eloquence he would be nominated for an Academy Award. But alas, we've come to expect his quotable perfection so the Academy snubbed yet another well-deserving actor (**racial subtext**).

I found interesting the lack of cameo by Mr. Tarantino. Does one count a few sentence narration halfway through the film a cameo? I'm not educated enough (or at all) in the intricacies of film to know the answer. What puzzled me was the presence of characters with only a few lines towards the close of the film. These roles were ripe for yet another display of his acting and accent chops. By the looks of the setting, perhaps his tookus was frozen to his director's chair. On a tangential note, go see this while you can, even though The Hateful Eight does not grace Tarantino's top 5 in my book. He seems quite serious that he only intends to do 10 films. (source: Tarantino himself on the horrifically hosted Hollywood Reporter Roundtable. Seriously, who did Stephen Galloway bribe to hold this position for life? I'd give a kidney to host it.)

I'm Looking Forward to This

Today I scoured the internet to find a trailer that excited me. I came up with nothing. Which is really disappointing about what lies ahead. Also, when did television trailers become so prevalent? That being said, the new Game of Thrones trailer excites me very much. Instead of what is to come, I'm looking forward to catching up on the films I missed in 2015. If you missed the films I still want to see, you can read the list here. I will leave you with this adorable video. In a sense I'm looking forward to his career, so perhaps the heading still works?

Best Films of 2015

As I peruse the list of films that were released in 2015 I can't help but feel disappointed. I did not see very many that were released this year. Here are the films I haven't seen yet but still wish to:
Ex Machina, Dope, Brooklyn, Far from the Madding Crowd, Amy, Spotlight, Black Mass, Room, He Named Me Malala, Suffragette, The Martian, The Intern, The Big Short, Sisters, and Joy.

But here are some of my favorite films released in 2015:

8. Shaun the Sheep Movie 
Aardman Animations never ceases to amaze me. Yes the animation is impressive, and cute. But the real genius is in the plot. This film has no lines. No words. Zilch. Yet you become enthralled and completely invested in the fate of the farm animals. The film has the perfect amount of topical references without relying on technology as a plot point. I also love how the animals act like the animals they are supposed to be (well, a very humanized version). The sheep act like sheep. The pigs act like pigs. Disney turns every animal it animates into dogs (e.g. the horse in Tangled and Sven in Frozen). It drives me crazy.

7. Inside Out
Apparently audiences were very divided about this movie. If that's true, I was on the "sobbing and loving it" half. I really resonated with the little girl. I'm an only child who liked to be strong and hide my emotions from my parents. I just moved to San Francisco, and loneliness is one of my most commonly felt feelings. Plus, I love love love the message: that all emotions are necessary to live a fulfilled life. Emotions are what allow us to connect to other humans and express the depths of our souls. Well played Pixar. Well Played.

6. The Revenant

My complaint with this movie is that it tends to become a bit boring in the middle. But that's the nature of the story line. I've described it as an intense cast away in the tundra. The opening battle is probably the best "attack scene" that I have ever seen. It's so beautifully and horrifically shot.  Alejandro G. Iñárritu is a genius, obviously. However, I don't love all of his choices. There are portions of the film where the camera is clearly so close to Leo's face that he creates fog from his breath on the screen. Intentional and interesting. I didn't think it suited this film. It broke the 4th wall. He also went a very long time before cleaning the lens after it got "blood" or mud on it. Again, it made it very clear that a video camera was there in the 1820s. Perhaps this method would be good in a modern film of a similar nature. But like I said, he's a genius, so who am I to criticize? 

5. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
I don't have much to say about this. I was so pleasantly surprised. It was so true to the old films without keeping the bad parts. The acting was great, the call backs were great. It is rare that I leave a theater and don't have the following sentence on my tongue... "It was great but it would've been so much better if ___." This film was the best it could've been.

4. The Hateful Eight 
I plan to write a full review of this. I liked it. I don't think anything will come close to Inglorious Basterds. This is exactly what you'd expect from Quinten Tarantino. I enjoyed the experience. But overall, I'm ready for a modern film again (e.g. Jackie Brown).

3. Sicario
I have done a full review on this. Read it here. Such a good suspense film. I was incredibly impressed.

2. Straight Outta Compton 
I have written in various locations throughout this blog that the purpose of fiction is to expose you to a world you would not otherwise know. This film achieved that, and then some. For all intents and purposes, I'm a spoiled white girl who cannot know what it's like for other people without films like this. I realize that non-fiction is the best route for understanding. But, eh. Fiction is more fun to write about and to watch. The acting is great. I loved the story. I'm very traditional when it comes to what makes a good movie. And as cheesy as it sounds, a good movie makes me laugh and makes me cry. This movie did that perfectly.

1. Mad Max: Fury Road
This movie is in my top 10 of all time. I can't fully explain why this movie is so fabulous. I usually don't like post-apocalyptic films. I usually don't like films with a ridiculous number of explosions. I usually don't like films with drawn out car chases. Mad Max takes place on a truck, with loads of explosions, in a post-apocalyptic world. But I love it. The action is intense, but you can actually see what's happening. This is an action movie for feminists. I know many people have labeled this feminist propaganda. I am a feminist, so I'll address it. Just as a background however, I do not want to free the nipple. I think the way to respond to the disproportionality between men's and women's nipples on screen is to cover up men's as well. I think modesty is valuable. But I try to live without judgment (against people, not movies). That being said, this movie does empower women - and I LOVE that. People have complained about lines such as "One man, one bullet." That is said by a group of women being chased and shot at by a group of male war lords. I think that's a necessary comment for women in their situation. There were no women chasing and shooting at them. There is a scene that sums up the feminist theme in the movie. Can we trust those men? "Yes they helped us get here." Trust the people who help you to get where you want to go. These women could not trust most men because the men were bread to be war lords. The film shows how women and men working together creates the best results. Furiosa and the other women could not have achieved what they did without the help of Max and Nux. But their society needed women in equal roles in order to function well. PERFECTION. 

Top 10: The Office (US) Cold Opens

The Office is my favorite television show. It is the perfect combination of heart and humor. These are my favorite cold opens from the show. Cold opens are the bits in the beginning before the theme song plays. They often don't have anything to do with the rest of the episode. The ones that I have selected are not necessarily the most shocking or laugh out loud funny. To me, these 10 cold opens epitomize the best of The Office. 



10. Season 6 Episode 25 "The Chump": The one where Toby is leaving radon test kits everywhere, and the office tests how to kill Toby, Bin Laden and Hitler with one bullet.

9. Season 8 Episode 21"Angry Andy": The one where Jim says that Phyllis says the same 12 cliches every time it's raining, and if she says them all by noon that day, he'd send out for hot chocolates.



8. Season 3 Episode 11 "Back From Vacation":  The one where Michael asks Dwight to record all meetings in his absence. Then Jim and the rest of the sales staff yell things out to ruin the integrity of the recording.


7. Season 3 Episode 20 "Product Recall": The one where Jim impersonates Dwight. Watch it here


6. Season 6 Episode 13 "Secret Santa": The one where Jim and Dwight unveil the Christmas tree and everyone hates it.


5. Season 7 Episode 9 "WUPHF.com": The one where the server goes down and they need to remember the internet password.


4. Season 7 Episode 6 "Costume Contest": The one where the whole office tries to determine if there is a limit to what Stanley won't notice.


3. Season 5 Episode 14 "Stress Relief Part 1": The one where Dwight pretends to set the office on fire. Watch it here



2. Season 4 Episode 1 "Fun Run": The one where Michael hits Meredith with his car.


1. Season 7 Episode 1 "Nepotism": The one where they lip dub to Human Beinz' "Nobody". Watch it here

Out Now Review: Sicario

Sicario (2015)
Starring: Emily Blunt, Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin
Written by: Taylor Sheridan
Directed by: Denis Villeneuve

My Rating: 8.0
Worth: paying to see it in the theater. It's probably a much better film in a theater setting.
Clairometer: The Bride, yep.

See this movie if you like suspense and can handle violent images. Sicario was completely different than I expected, and that's for sure a tick in the pro column. Just another Tomb Raider-y drug movie, was the phrase pulsing through my mind. That is, until the first 10 minutes were over. Then I was hooked. Basically, Emily Blunt's character Kate is an FBI agent who is "recruited" to work with the CIA across the border in the war on drugs. As the audience, we find out each detail of the case as Kate does. Which is to say, we are both left in the dark throughout most of the film. But you know what's interesting about the dark? .... It's bloody terrifying.

I read a few perspectives on the role of Kate. There seemed to be a general consensus that she was "annoying" and "bad for women in film." To this I yawn just as Tina Fey yawns when she gets asked questions in interviews about whether or not women are funny. In other words, are we still thinking this way? The argument for more women in lead roles isn't that the women need to be perfect. It's simply that there should be the roles available to begin with. Kate is left in the dark on purpose. That is the premise of the film. Just because she's a woman "in a man's world" doesn't mean that she can't be confused about something, or get beaten up a few times, or even appear emotional. Every movie can't have Furiosa as its lead. C'mon people. Let's celebrate a film like this with a woman as it's lead and not analyze it any differently than we would if a man were in that role.

Hold on while I ice my knees from standing up on a soapbox for so long.

The film is incredibly well done overall. The music is outstanding. The score seems as iconic as Jaws'. A few loud notes blown out by horns (can you sense my level of music knowledge?) and you have a villain. The desert shots rival the cinematography of Breaking Bad. In sum, see the movie, and never never ever visit Juarez - even if accompanied by Benicio Del Toro.

Watch This Not This

Watch This... 

Stuck In Love (2012)

Written and Directed by: Josh Boone

Starring: Greg Kinnear, Jennifer Connelly, Lily Collins, Logan Lerman, Nat Wolff, Kristen Bell

My Rating: 8.1

Worth: Full attention and cost of a rental

Clairometer: Mathilda

I don't mind the term "chick flick." But I don't think every time love or romance is at the center of a storyline we should label it as such. A chick flick is 27 Dresses. Stuck in Love, is a dumb name for a fantastic movie that happens to discuss romance. Much of the romance involved is from the male perspective.  This film is about writing, divorce, and self confidence. It's about relationships between parents and their children. It's about falling in love at three different stages of life.

"Rusty, a writer is the sum of his experiences. Go get some."

I can't say enough good things about this movie. The three main characters are all writers. And yet the film is without a whisper of pretentiousness. The details are impeccable, down to the fact that Lily Collins and Nat Wolff actually do look like a combination of Jennifer Connelly and Greg Kinnear. I really appreciate things like that - casting directors thinking about good, quality actors, but also taking into account who is playing a family member. Like when Jamie Lynn played a young Britney at the beginning of Crossroads. That's cinematic gold. Did you know Shonda Rhimes wrote that?

In all sincerity, Stuck in Love is a great movie. It doesn't try too hard. It's not overly indie. There are no ukuleles played. A man (or anyone for that matter) dared to write men who show emotion on a regular basis - not just at the climax when he's trying to win the girl back. I (usually) applaud uniqueness, and this post is a standing O for Stuck in Love.

Not This... 

Barefoot (2014)

Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Scott Speedman

Written by: Stephen Zotnowski

Directed by: Andrew Flemming 

My Rating: 4.5

Clairometer: Mrs. Doubtfire

Worth: A solid 5 minutes of pondering why Evan Rachel Wood and J.K. Simmons said yes. 

This reminded me of The Last Song.

My 6 readers are probably too high-brow to know what that is, but it's a Nicholas Sparks movie starring a (long-haired) Miley Cyrus. Except it differs in one crucial way. Barefoot didn't even utilize Evan Rachel Wood's lovely singing ability!?! With a plot line this thin, it could've easily been worked in. Here's how they're similar: the main characters are a girl who is by society's definition very flawed and a guy from a rich family who falls for this girl. The family must accept the girl despite her issues and the girl must learn to overcome her obstacles. Honestly though, The Last Song is a much better movie. That should really be all you need to know. 

Evan Rachel Wood plays Daisy, a girl who has schizophrenia and usually doesn't wear shoes. She was raised in isolation her whole life by her mother who also had schizophrenia. The film is lighthearted on the surface, but interlaced throughout various points are Daisy's debilitating panic attacks and severe mental instability. She needs to be counseled and eased back into the real world. Her naiveté, her lack of any personal possessions, and at times even her past seem to be a punchline. Which is possible.... thanks to Tina Fey. But Barefoot does not gracefully navigate this delicate area of comedy. One minute Daisy is burping when she drinks champagne for the first time. The next, she is on her hands and knees scrubbing the bathroom because that's how she was taught to show love. I constantly felt uncomfortable, and simultaneously bored. It didn't attempt to break the stigma of medication for mental illness (you do you J Law). It just made me feel sad and like I had wasted two hours. I'm here to save your time, and tell you to watch Stuck in Love instead.  

Apartment-Ridden Love

So this has turned into a romantic comedy blog. Thank God Nancy Meyers is still working (#theintern). I have watched two rom coms worth mentioning (and loads not worth mentioning - Sex Ed, oh adult Haley Joel Osment, how I wish you were still Walter-esque), and my snarky thoughts on both are as follows:

1. Two Night Stand (2014)
**ignore the cheeseball trailer
Starring: Analeigh Tipton, Miles Teller, Jessica Szohr, Scott Mescudi
Written by: Mark Hammer
Directed by: Max Nichols

My Rating: 7.1
Clairometer: Erin Brockovich
Worth: a couple of hours of mostly paying attention. I don't think you'd be angry if you clicked buy for a $4.99 On Demand rental.... but no need to buy an HBO subscription.

As with the next movie I discuss, I like this movie for its original premise. A blizzard sticks these two in a room together for a weekend, after they had a one night stand. If this were a worse movie, that sentence would be sufficient information. But as the goddess known as Lake Bell once said, "You watch romantic comedies for the middle, not for the beginning and ending." This movie isn't dependent on the answer to will they, won't they. It's a movie devoted to the genuine thoughts of people who just graduated from college (the word millennials makes me want to barf). Do you hold out for the perfect job? What do you do with a BS (Bachelor of Science or Bull Shit - your choice) degree and no real plan? Why is it so hard to have a productive conversation with someone you are sleeping with about sex? The wall of snow forces these two characters to breakdown the answers to these questions.

For those of you who saw Fantastic Four and are morning the loss of the intelligible Miles Teller - watch Two Night Stand, then watch it again, then maybe Whiplash, but only if you have cool neighbors. When I watched this movie I told my boyfriend that Miles Teller reminded me of a young Tom Hanks. He responded that Miles Teller is the poor man's Shia Labeouf, because society can't handle his weirdness. I'm not entirely sure how that is relevant, I just thought it was funny.


2. Take Care (2014)

**watch it without knowing much about it.
Starring: Leslie Bibb, Thomas Sadoski
Written and Directed by: Liz Tuccillo

My Rating: 6.3
Clairometer: Mathilda
Worth: Absolutely no more than half of your attention. I may or may not have "studied" for the Bar with this on in the background. As far as paying for it goes - it's on Netflix, but hurry and watch it before Netflix loses all its contracts with decent distribution companies!

This premise is similar to Two Night Stand but slightly more intricate. The main character, Frannie, gets into a car accident and needs someone to take care of her while her bones heal. She winds up soliciting her ex-boyfriend. That alone doesn't sound that great I know, but the reason he agrees is pretty good. And no I won't ruin it.

There's nothing particularly fabulous about the dialogue or the set or [insert film school term here]. Truly, I watched the whole movie because of the creative set up. The beginning is as slow as Frannie moves. The ending is predictable (recall Lake Bell's quote). But something about how these two ended up spending so much time together in an apartment, as well as their painful backstory completely intrigued me. I think Take Care will intrigue you enough to watch it too.