How It Works

I love movies, but I hate most movie reviews. I hate them for two reasons: First, they always begin with a 3-5 paragraph in-depth description of the film. I don't want to know the entire plot, I want to know if it's good! I may say generally what the movie involves but that's it. Second, most movie reviews are unclear. I've read countless reviews that left me with absolutely no indication as to whether or not I should even see the film. Not here. I developed three methods to rate television and movies:

1. Just your average 10 point scale.
10 is obviously the best and 1 is the worst. Although, Something Borrowed might make below a 1 if I ever get around to reviewing it. I consider myself quite harsh, so if you see anything above a 9, it's probably in my top ten of all time.

2. What's it Worth?
I will tell you if I think it's worth paying for and worth the 2 (and ever more increasingly 3) hours of your time. I also make an educated guess as to whether or not you can multitask during the film.

3. The (not-yet) Patented Clairometer
In honor of my college friend Claire, I developed this rating system in order to display how "appropriate" the film is. It is designed to tell you a more detailed rating system. I find this helpful. Sometimes you want to know ahead of time so you're not stuck watching Black Swan in an empty theater with your mom. The range between PG-13 and R is more vast than the plot holes in a Michael Bay movie. I hope to combat this. The scale shows photos and descriptions of a few well-known women in film and television. The rating is the farthest woman to the left of the scale who would approve of the film. For example, June Cleaver would not approve of
Tequila Sunrise. The woman who would is probably Mathilda.

THE CLAIROMETER:

Clairometer

Clairometer

conclusion

With this blog, I write as though someone will read it and enjoy what I have to say. I am under no false pretense that I have a wide readership. It is mostly for me and for the one other person who accidentally stumbled across this blog. If that is you, I'm glad you are here. With this blog, I send my thoughts about what I watch on a black box into the abyss of the world wide web. I hope you enjoy reading these thoughts as much as I enjoy writing them.

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Monday, October 12, 2015

Out Now Review: Sicario

Sicario (2015)
Starring: Emily Blunt, Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin
Written by: Taylor Sheridan
Directed by: Denis Villeneuve

My Rating: 8.0
Worth: paying to see it in the theater. It's probably a much better film in a theater setting.
Clairometer: The Bride, yep.

See this movie if you like suspense and can handle violent images. Sicario was completely different than I expected, and that's for sure a tick in the pro column. Just another Tomb Raider-y drug movie, was the phrase pulsing through my mind. That is, until the first 10 minutes were over. Then I was hooked. Basically, Emily Blunt's character Kate is an FBI agent who is "recruited" to work with the CIA across the border in the war on drugs. As the audience, we find out each detail of the case as Kate does. Which is to say, we are both left in the dark throughout most of the film. But you know what's interesting about the dark? .... It's bloody terrifying.

I read a few perspectives on the role of Kate. There seemed to be a general consensus that she was "annoying" and "bad for women in film." To this I yawn just as Tina Fey yawns when she gets asked questions in interviews about whether or not women are funny. In other words, are we still thinking this way? The argument for more women in lead roles isn't that the women need to be perfect. It's simply that there should be the roles available to begin with. Kate is left in the dark on purpose. That is the premise of the film. Just because she's a woman "in a man's world" doesn't mean that she can't be confused about something, or get beaten up a few times, or even appear emotional. Every movie can't have Furiosa as its lead. C'mon people. Let's celebrate a film like this with a woman as it's lead and not analyze it any differently than we would if a man were in that role.

Hold on while I ice my knees from standing up on a soapbox for so long.

The film is incredibly well done overall. The music is outstanding. The score seems as iconic as Jaws'. A few loud notes blown out by horns (can you sense my level of music knowledge?) and you have a villain. The desert shots rival the cinematography of Breaking Bad. In sum, see the movie, and never never ever visit Juarez - even if accompanied by Benicio Del Toro.

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