How It Works

I love movies, but I hate most movie reviews. I hate them for two reasons: First, they always begin with a 3-5 paragraph in-depth description of the film. I don't want to know the entire plot, I want to know if it's good! I may say generally what the movie involves but that's it. Second, most movie reviews are unclear. I've read countless reviews that left me with absolutely no indication as to whether or not I should even see the film. Not here. I developed three methods to rate television and movies:

1. Just your average 10 point scale.
10 is obviously the best and 1 is the worst. Although, Something Borrowed might make below a 1 if I ever get around to reviewing it. I consider myself quite harsh, so if you see anything above a 9, it's probably in my top ten of all time.

2. What's it Worth?
I will tell you if I think it's worth paying for and worth the 2 (and ever more increasingly 3) hours of your time. I also make an educated guess as to whether or not you can multitask during the film.

3. The (not-yet) Patented Clairometer
In honor of my college friend Claire, I developed this rating system in order to display how "appropriate" the film is. It is designed to tell you a more detailed rating system. I find this helpful. Sometimes you want to know ahead of time so you're not stuck watching Black Swan in an empty theater with your mom. The range between PG-13 and R is more vast than the plot holes in a Michael Bay movie. I hope to combat this. The scale shows photos and descriptions of a few well-known women in film and television. The rating is the farthest woman to the left of the scale who would approve of the film. For example, June Cleaver would not approve of Tequila Sunrise. The woman who would is probably Mathilda.

THE CLAIROMETER:

Clairometer

Clairometer

conclusion

With this blog, I write as though someone will read it and enjoy what I have to say. I am under no false pretense that I have a wide readership. It is mostly for me and for the one other person who accidentally stumbled across this blog. If that is you, I'm glad you are here. With this blog, I send my thoughts about what I watch on a black box into the abyss of the world wide web. I hope you enjoy reading these thoughts as much as I enjoy writing them.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

What I'm Watching This Month

School started back this week, and in the days prior I did what any celluloid freak would do: binge watch television. I finished two seasons in less than 24 hours. Beware if you have time commitments.

Sherlock (2010 - 2014)
Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman
Airing on: BBC, although the 3rd season (or series as the British say) release date has yet to be posted. You can view the first two series on Netflix.

My Rating: 9.3 [A full 10 if Sherlock boxes, Watson gets a bull dog, and The Woman reappears in series 3]
Clairometer: Holly Golightly

I loved Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of Holmes. However, Benedict Cumberbatch embodies the icon while giving it a modern twist better than I imagined possible. I wanted to quote a witty conversation between Sherlock and Watson, but sans the actors' genius delivery, the words don't do it justice. Overall, the writing is impeccable, the acting superb, and the production quality is so high I would pay $15 to see each episode on an IMAX screen. The creators have clearly put their heart and soul into modernizing the story. Sherlock and Watson text, email and blog. The show even created the blogs accessible to fans. Dr. John Watson's Blog and Sherlock Holmes' Blog.


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